Hurt

How can things hurt so bad as memories, there are so many beautiful things in you're lives and yet the pain you cause each other sickens me. Many times I think you don't even know you are doing it, at first anyways, however you can and are not that blind forever, you get told you are hurting people by you're actions and yet you still do it. Love is a great example of this, sure love is not equal, of course it can't be your stupid fucking humans, anyways someone loves you but you don't love them back, fine, but how do you treat them?

Good like the friend they were?

Someone you can take advantage of because they love you?

A lepper someone to push away fearful of what they might do?

Ya lie too yourself and say you ready them like a friend, but don't try to lie to me. I know the truth ok have been on the bad end of that love many times, you know what thought those loves hurt the most.

I understand now from living as a human for so long all I want too do is forget you and trust me I will shortly enough.

Fuck you all, if it was not for the fact that I don't want more blood on my hands and have that passed onto my daughters and in there genetic memory I would wipe you  all out.

Again fuck you all and a specific fuck you to you know who thanks for betraying me, breaking all your promises too me and adding a huge reason for me wanting too kill myself too want to get away from you and your memories. Sure I know I would know them even than, however I wood not feel them like I do now, although I would most likely erase them, maybe even her. Wow be proud humans you even made me want too kill myself, so how could I punish anyone else for it, not that I ever have or would, just saying be proud of yourself... Again see why I say... Fuck you.

If it was only one thing.

I have been here for many years now and I cannot deny it has warn me down, if it was just one things even 10 things no problem, but what happens when it is everything all at once all the time.
Now sure everyone wants to say that is the same and they very well might be right, for me though I know I have a tolerance might higher than anyone I know, not that I am saying I am the only one as I know there are others, however I am at my braking point.

I cannot take care of the people around me anymore, let alone myself.

Here in lays the problem, I know who I am death has no meaning for me it does not change me as I have just been here watching and learning.

What have I learned recently is death really is a personally attractive choice.

I have not so far because of 3 people I love and don’t want to hurt as I see the chain of events that would happen if I did.

It just hurts so much; I would burn this world to ground and never recreated life if I did not already have the blood of that action on my hands.

I can’t have sticky things on my hands just that feeling is like the blood on them.

I don’t even want to fight anymore, I am passing the torch to my guardians and I will protect and love staying in the background.

Even dyeing that’s only temporary for me I will be back I just want this pain to stop.