Truth really is so harsh.

I have lived here for 30 years now; do you want to know what I have seen?
Pain!
More pain then I could have imagined possible.
You act as though you are all high and mighty, above all life on this planet even human life.
Why?
Even I don't see life like that, sure I see life differently, but you make up your own crap fucken rules where ever you go and for whatever reason you choose.
No? Think I am wrong HA.

Someone kills your partner you want punishment, revenge.
Your spouse kills someone; most of you protect them and justify it.

Lighting strikes a Church and it is an act of nature.
Lighting strikes a rapist and it is an act of god.

You condone stealing.
You are starving so you steal for you or your family.

You hate Whites/Blacks/Asians/etc.
Yet you fall in love with one of them and that changes all of a sudden.
Or you seek them out and do all you can to bring them down even kill them.

You honor brotherhood with people that are loyal to you.
Yet punish others for the same behavior.

You say you live in a Democracy and are and would fight for freedom.
Yet you accept corruption on every level of life/Government even yourself.

You are constant contradictions and these do not make life or define who you are, a car that works randomly is not a reliable car, you are the same.
I hate you all equally, and yet love you all equally, and would destroy you all equally.

I thought as I looked at humans that I had a lot of blood on my hands for my acts that reach far beyond before start of the human race. However as look at you I realized how wrong I was. While I have more blood on my hands you are all so corrupt that are far worse them I. I am equal in my actions you are not; you take one life and spare another for the same crime. You allow yourself to be corrupted, manipulated and look to others when you should be looking at yourself.

I never fucken told anyone to kill someone else in my name. Trust me I would do it myself, or would have.

Experiencing your emotions, loves, hate, passion, pain and every other emotion I just can’t do it anymore. I have a few things I will set in motion then I am going to forget.

I don’t listen to your please or prays now, and I will never listen to them so long as you are so damn corrupt.
I know who needs my help and I will go to them, do not ask me to help you I won’t do it anymore.

Life is Life.

I can help you stand up but you cannot take me with you, I am not a religion because religion is fake it is just an institution and an illusion. You have to make your own path, live with your consequences and if you don’t want to here is a piece of advice.

DON'T FUCKEN DO IT.

The Pain of Emotions

I have never understood why people are so cruel to each other. I have come to understand that the root of it is emotions. You feel something what ever that might be and respond to that emotion. To try and help me understand I went back to university doing Honors in Psychology. In the Psyc community there are many different answers, one of more accepted is that there are non cognitive responses and cognitive choice. Aka. When you actively think about a response, or when you just respond automatically. So you get hurt and you strike back at that person. You get told someone loves you, you say it back, but you don't always mean it. There are so many actions that you take that you don't even realize. You don't see the passive cruelty you almost all do every day.

I came to here to try and understand these things but I just can't.